I got a letter in the mail from my doctor saying I was past due for my annual (should have happened in June) and to call her to schedule it and that she is dying to see a picture of Dylan. I've been putting off my annual because we did not have our private insurance and just have Tricare which is crappy and my doctor doesn't take it anyways. But as of 9/1/11, we have our old insurance back!!
My mind has been wandering since I received that letter on Friday. Why? Because a part of me knows that my doctor will ask when we plan on having another baby. My answer lately has been in 2 years I'll try to get pregnant because it makes sense to wait until 1 kid is in Kindergarten and one is in preschool. I think that would help with the daycare bill (which is already at $1500 a month) and would allow me to not feel guilty if the oldest is in school, Dylan is in an all day preschool and I can spend more time with the baby one on one during the day. I will not be a typical SAHM because I also work from home and at that point, having a newborn around is feasible. Having a 4 and 5 year old at home during the day, not feasible (I explained in other posts why I can't have my kids at home during my work day).
But what if she says she doesn't think it's the best idea to wait? I can't imagine a fertility doctor encouraging someone to wait a few years, can you? Or am I being crazy?
Also, looking back at it, my mom, aunts, and grandmas all were done having multiple kids by the time they were 25. Yes, I know, I got pregnant at 27 so I was already older than all of them with my first but waiting until I'm 32 to get pregnant again? Is that silly?
My mom had a hysterectomy at 25 right after I was born because of endometriosis. But as far as I know, I don't have endo so I shouldn't think I'll be in that situation.
If you were me, would you get the test to check your ovarian reserve? Should I even bring it up? Because if I do and for some reason my test results show I do have diminishing ovarian reserve compared to 3 years ago, I'm still not in the position to get pregnant today. I mean, it would take some planning and I could possibly try next summer to get pregnant, definitely not in the next few months. I'm still determined to lose 50lbs and but I'm afraid if the results of the ovarian reserve come out bad, I'll be depressed. I still want one more baby, at least one and what if someone tells me my chances will be slim (not to be dramatic, I have two awesome boys, but I admittedly would be a bit sad for a little while if I never got pregnant again)?
And I think my mind flashes back to ALL those appointments trying to get pregnant and stay pregnant with Dylan and all the fear and worries during that period of my life and I've tried so hard to push it out of my mind. Any opinions out there on what you'd do?
A few years ago I would have slapped someone for saying the following statement so please don't take it offensively but take it as comfort. Everything happens for a reason. There are pros and cons to everything. I say this after 4+ years of infertility. Even though I still don't have children there has been at least one or two good things that have happened over the past 4 years that couldn't have happened if I had kids. Also follow your heart and mind. Good Luck! I am sure this will be a tough time.
ReplyDeleteIt's very true:) Just like when I want to tell people to relax and take a break (since several of my infertile friends and myself all got pregnant on our breaks), there is some truth to it. If only life was something I could control every aspect of....but I've got to learn to just roll with the punches:)
ReplyDeleteHey Brandi, sorry I haven't been around much, we are buying another house and I have been crazy busy arranging the renovations etc.. But enough of that. I get what you are talking about completely. Though I am a few years older than you at 32 it plays on my mind so much about having another baby and how it's gonna work. I feel under pressure go get pregnant NOW! But when I take jnto account nursey Fee's etc it just is not feasible right now because there is no way we could pay for 2 kids in nursery so we will try when Eden gets her pre school paid for next year. It frustrates me at times that my choices are limited. I too worry about the prospect of fertility appointments again but I think when the time comes we should make a pact to nit put ourselves under so much pressure! I don't know if I can give you advice as to what to do but if you tried between this year or waited a year or two would it really make a big difference? The good thing is you still have time in your side. I was 30 when I conceived Eden so there is hope for you Brandi xxx
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