When to Spend and When to Save on Kids Clothings

You all, I wish I was in a super crazy good happy mood and could write some lovely upbeat posts that are at least a little inspiring, but I'm just not there at this moment in time.  Maybe it's because the big 3-0 birthday is quickly approaching but hopefully I'll be in a better mood here shortly.  Until then, here's my rant!

My parents were at our house for dinner on Sunday when out of the blew my mom said she couldn't believe I spent that much on AJ's winter coat.  I looked at her puzzled like huh?  Where did that come from and why do you care?  Then it just followed with a discussion that was a "tit for tat" discussion as my husband would say.  I'm just going to put it out there that I paid $135 for AJ's coat at REI.  Dylan inherited AJ's hand me down North Face from last year that was still in great condition.  Last year I bought 2 coats, 2 pairs of snow pants, 2 pairs of boots, 2 pairs of gloves, and 2 winter hats.  This year Dylan inherited all his brothers things, gloves still fit AJ, neighbor gave us a pair of boots that were like brand new and then I did buy him a new winter hat.  So I felt this year was a relief because I had to buy so much less than last year.  When I went to get AJ's coat, I by  no means thought it was a super awesome price BUT....I only had to buy one coat that I know once again will be inherited by Dylan so I was willing to spend what I did.  Also, by October, my kids will wear their winter coats every day until April.  It's cold here and that's just what we do. 

My thoughts on kids clothes and accessories is that if it's something like a winter coat that will be worn for 6 straight months, then it's fine to spend more money on it.  Say I bought him a $20 shirt (rarely happens) that he wears 5-10 times versus a coat I spend $135 and he wears 180 times, how was the $20 shirt any better than the coat?  Plus, it's likely that shirt will be so heavily stained that it has about a 50/50 chance of being passed down to Dylan.

I'm not sure why this bothered me SOOO much but all I kept thinking in my head for the last 24 hour was 'thanks mom for telling me I did another thing wrong.' 

My tit-for-tat back to her was why is it acceptable then to go out to eat and spend $40-50 which lasts for an hour and is about 4-5 times what I'd spend on making dinner at home versus paying for a coat that is equal to about 3 meals at restaurant and will last through 2 winters between my two kids?  And unfortunately I should have just not even entertained the conversation and just let it be at her comment but I added in that I feel that eating out and going to watch movies or buying DVD's are the ultimate in frivolous spending.  I used those examples because that's what she chooses to do with her money yet buys clothes at Wal-mart where as I buy clothes from Gap and Banana Republic but cook at home 95% of the time. 

I hate "Mommy Guilt."  You know where someone tries to make you feel bad about decisions you make for your kids.  Whether it's things you buy them, how much time you spend with them, how long you breastfed, what you feed them, etc. that there always seems to be someone that questions what you do with YOUR kids.   I even said to my mom that technically I could buy all my kids clothing from Goodwill and there's no reason really to ever buy new, but that I choose to spend the money I earn on certain things and sometimes that includes expensive coats or shopping sprees at Gymboree or Gap and I've never justified it as a "need" for my kids, but a want.  I mean to each their own, there's no reason for anyone to judge other people's finances and how they choose to spend their money right?  Does your family comment on how you choose to spend your money?

Standing In My Truth: I Should NOT Get Pregnant This Year

My mind has been in overdrive this week after reading Suze Orman's new book Money Class.  I'm kind of a finance junkie and that's what my degree is in so I've read most of the personal finance books out there.  A short little blurb about me is in a New York Times Bestseller about personal finance but I'm going to keep that a secret since it reveals too much personal info:)

Anyways, back to this book.  Suze talks a lot about standing in your truth and being completely honest about your finances.  My plan for some time has been to start TTCing in September if I lost 50lbs by then that way Dylan and the newborn would be about 2 1/2 years apart.  I know many women out there believe that they'll just figure it out when it comes to affording another baby and on those days when I would love nothing more than to be pregnant again I'm tempted to believe the same.  I grew up in a household where both parents worked and lived paycheck to paycheck and filed for bankruptcy twice.  It was stressful in our house but my parents were good parents and I like to think I turned out okay.  They rarely said no to most things and that's brought them to the place they are now.  Lots of debt, no retirement, no assets.  It scares me and probably scares them even more. 

If you remember, 12 days after I found out I was pregnant with Dylan, my husband got laid off (and remained unemployed for 5 months) for the first time in his adult life.  All the money we saved preparing for our baby was spent filling in the gap of his missing income.  Then we built our savings back up to a 4 month emergency the month Dylan was born.  Again, my husband got laid off here and there, I had to cut back on work and didn't get paid for 3 months and add in my desire to be at Target a couple times a week, we blew through that money and by last March we were back to living paycheck to paycheck which is so frightening when you have two kids to take care of.

Fast forward to this year, we again saved 4 months emergency and in November, my husband was once again laid off.  It felt as if we just couldn't catch a break.  He's worked 3 weeks total since November.  Now we are down to 2 months emergency.  Suze Orman advocates saving 8 months emergency fund and I really think that's a smart thing to do.  I would love to be able to sell our house but in this market, we owe about $75,000 more than it's worth, ouch.  So that's not really an option for us to save money. 

When I vlogged a lot before getting pregnant, a lot of women would tell me they had to put TTCing on hold because they couldn't afford the $2500 in meds for IVF, or the $500 for this or that medical bill.  I know, to each their own, but I'm not going to lie and say that that didn't worry me that they were willing to have a baby if they could just cover the fertility treatment costs but not have any emergency money saved.  I just believe in this economy, we have to get out of our entitlement mentality and plan for a rainy day.  I understand that now that I have 2 kids, that is maybe easier for me to say versus someone that is still TTCing their first child.  But even before I got pregnant, I still saved and planned for that baby and didn't adopt the attitude that it would all just work out.

So here I am standing in my truth and deciding that unless we have an 8 month emergency by September, baby making will be on hold.  I'm choosing long term financial stability for my kids and family over my desire to have another baby any time soon.  But if I happen to win Publisher's Clearing House this year, baby making will be in full swing once again!