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Saturday, March 26, 2011

Standing In My Truth: I Should NOT Get Pregnant This Year

My mind has been in overdrive this week after reading Suze Orman's new book Money Class.  I'm kind of a finance junkie and that's what my degree is in so I've read most of the personal finance books out there.  A short little blurb about me is in a New York Times Bestseller about personal finance but I'm going to keep that a secret since it reveals too much personal info:)

Anyways, back to this book.  Suze talks a lot about standing in your truth and being completely honest about your finances.  My plan for some time has been to start TTCing in September if I lost 50lbs by then that way Dylan and the newborn would be about 2 1/2 years apart.  I know many women out there believe that they'll just figure it out when it comes to affording another baby and on those days when I would love nothing more than to be pregnant again I'm tempted to believe the same.  I grew up in a household where both parents worked and lived paycheck to paycheck and filed for bankruptcy twice.  It was stressful in our house but my parents were good parents and I like to think I turned out okay.  They rarely said no to most things and that's brought them to the place they are now.  Lots of debt, no retirement, no assets.  It scares me and probably scares them even more. 

If you remember, 12 days after I found out I was pregnant with Dylan, my husband got laid off (and remained unemployed for 5 months) for the first time in his adult life.  All the money we saved preparing for our baby was spent filling in the gap of his missing income.  Then we built our savings back up to a 4 month emergency the month Dylan was born.  Again, my husband got laid off here and there, I had to cut back on work and didn't get paid for 3 months and add in my desire to be at Target a couple times a week, we blew through that money and by last March we were back to living paycheck to paycheck which is so frightening when you have two kids to take care of.

Fast forward to this year, we again saved 4 months emergency and in November, my husband was once again laid off.  It felt as if we just couldn't catch a break.  He's worked 3 weeks total since November.  Now we are down to 2 months emergency.  Suze Orman advocates saving 8 months emergency fund and I really think that's a smart thing to do.  I would love to be able to sell our house but in this market, we owe about $75,000 more than it's worth, ouch.  So that's not really an option for us to save money. 

When I vlogged a lot before getting pregnant, a lot of women would tell me they had to put TTCing on hold because they couldn't afford the $2500 in meds for IVF, or the $500 for this or that medical bill.  I know, to each their own, but I'm not going to lie and say that that didn't worry me that they were willing to have a baby if they could just cover the fertility treatment costs but not have any emergency money saved.  I just believe in this economy, we have to get out of our entitlement mentality and plan for a rainy day.  I understand that now that I have 2 kids, that is maybe easier for me to say versus someone that is still TTCing their first child.  But even before I got pregnant, I still saved and planned for that baby and didn't adopt the attitude that it would all just work out.

So here I am standing in my truth and deciding that unless we have an 8 month emergency by September, baby making will be on hold.  I'm choosing long term financial stability for my kids and family over my desire to have another baby any time soon.  But if I happen to win Publisher's Clearing House this year, baby making will be in full swing once again!

3 comments:

  1. Brandi,
    It is very hard to live pay check to pay check and to think that something may go wrong all of a sudden and then BAM! zero money. It has been hard to see medical bills pilling up all for TCC treatment and/or testing. It is wicked expensive! You are doing the best thing you can do for your family right now! Good for you, sometimes it is hard, Good Luck! :)

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  2. I sometimes feel like I just can't catch a break, like can I please go a full 12 month without any expensive emergencies?! Ha! But life is good, I have the things that matter most to me, my health and my family, so I'm learning to appreciate where I'm at now rather than always wishing I had it better:)

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  3. girl let me tell you! we are slowing moving out of our debt- it will be one or two more months of pay check- to pay check, then we can start saving. My husband and I are not good with our finaces but we are slowing turning it around, as last week I pulled in the reigns on everything and tried to lower some of our bills. It isnt much, but after ALL expenses, we can save 600 a month- and you know what we have always done-- ate out ate out ate out at the restaurants all week instead of cooking. so that is why we are overweight and in debt! Good luck with your money saving!

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