House Guests....if only I was a gracious hostess!

I'm pretending I'm in my bedroom working on a client's file just so I can get a quick break from entertaining our house guest.  I should probably feel guilty but I don't and since I don't want to go back out to the living room, I'm going to rant a bit!

I almost always think company should stay at a hotel.  Isn't that awful of me?  But when I visit my in-laws we stay at hotels.  It's something about having to be "on" from the minute you wake up to the minute you go to bed that just rattles my nerves.  Exceptions are my best friends and my sister.  I love spending time with them and losing track of time and saying at midnight that you really need to get to bed!  Other house guests, it's like 6:30pm and you are already watching the clock for it to become an appropriate time to announce you are just "so tired, better hit the hay!" 

And when you/they stay at a hotel, you almost always skip the first morning food talk about what to have, can I make you a cup of coffee, pardon me I'm going to go take a shower (and I admittedly always take an hour to get ready with shower, makeup, blow dry and straighten my hair and ironing my clothes, it's been this way since junior high) and I'll probably be MIA for at least an hour and I don't want to hear you give me a hard time and tell me I should just skip the makeup.

Then there is the part where my company doesn't bother to rinse plates, help load the dishwasher, prep dinner (you know, help cut veggies, shred cheese, etc.) that REALLY gets to me!  I'm not saying I need a housekeeper and cook for a week, but help out darn it!  And don't ask "do you need help?"  Crap, I have a one and two year old, I work full time, and have a messy husband, did that question need to be asked?  If you are my house guest, can you just say you'll unload the dishwasher, or set the table, or rinse the dinner dishes off, put food items away after dinner and just do it so it's not that awkwardness where I tell you to just relax, I got it. 

If the majority of meals are made at my house, which they are and I 90% of the time cook from scratch and you haven't helped out with groceries, when we are out to eat, why not offer to pay the tab?  Oh man, that's really selfish of me to even say that huh?  But unless I BEG for you to come visit me and I know that you are on a tight budget, your vacation is not an opportunity for my family to wine, dine, and entertain you.  It's to enjoy each other's company but that's hard to do when I'm cooking you 3 meals a day and cleaning up after you for a week!

Rent a car.  Unless you are in a super busy city, rent a car.  Save the money before you plan your vacation and take breaks to go do your own thing even if it's only for a couple hours.  It gives everyone time to breathe.  I'd say our guests can take one of our cars, but with DH working nights and going to school full time, that just doesn't work for us right now.

Finally, respect the kids' schedules.  Some kids go with the flow and are not on a set routine.  My kids aren't.  It will take you all of about 6 hours before you realize this.  When my kids go to bed at 7, please don't feel the need to talk loud for 2 hours straight or crank the volume on my TV up.  Maybe after the 5th time you saw me have to walk upstairs and put one of the boys back to bed because they can't get to sleep, you would have thought 'maybe I am being too loud?'  Again, another reason to rent a hotel room.  Also realize that not all toddlers want to go on several hour long road trips several times during your stay.  My boys like to play, run around, take naps in their beds, and it's really difficult to do this when we are jammed packed into my car all week long.

Okay, I'm I going to go down as the worst  daughter-in-law, nephew's wife, etc. in history?  Probably.  But I've realized this week how much I do not like having guests stay at my house....okay, let's just be honest, my husband's family at my house.  I could write for days about all the horror stories of my MIL's stays at our house but I've ranted long enough so I'll end it here!

I hate when someone calls a person FAT!!

Little rant.....but I cringe when I hear people call someone fat or put on facebook something about a fat lady.  Like on FB when someone posted about being "disgusted by the fat lady buying 26 candy bars" or the "fat lady in the electric grocery cart hogging up the grocery aisle so I couldn't push my cart down the aisle."  I don't call people fat and I would NEVER have the balls to write it on a facebook post.  And I don't believe in either of these circumstances it made a difference if they were fat or skinny and who are you to judge!!  And who's never just turned their grocery cart around and went the long way to the next aisle rather than badger someone about not being able to get down the aisle.

My friend's husband Adam once, out of the blue, asked, "I wonder where kids learn the term fat?"  Is it because they overhear their parents call people fat, is it said in a cartoon, a book?  It's one of the most disgusting words I believe that comes out of peoples mouth.  I even hesitate to use the words "heavier set."  Our adoption attorney was trying to figure out what attorney for the state was representing our case because I just blanked on her name and I could barely utter the words heavier set when I described her but our attorney even replied back, "Attorney A is also tall but slim, Attorney B is tall but not as slim, I guess you could say heavier set but she's been working very hard on losing weight."  And I was so pleased with that because our attorney is very trim but even hesitated to use the word heavier set and immediately followed it up by what I think is a positive comment. 

I won't let my kids use the word fat to talk about people, they are too young to say it but I really hope to instill some sort of understanding in them that people of all shapes and sizes are beautiful, that you never call anyone fat or ugly.   I was teased as a kid and anytime I see an overweight kid or teen I immediately think back to how I was teased and I wonder if they are going through the same torment as I did and it makes me so sad. I'm sure easier said than done to be the parent of the kids that don't use the word fat but the obvious first step is to not use the word myself. 

Does the word fat make you cringe also?