65 Pound to Lose, Will 2013 be THE Year?

If you were to ask me why this year is the year I'm going to lose the weight versus any of the last 20 years I was over weight, I wouldn't know how to answer.  I don't know if this means I'm slightly doomed to fail or if the same reasons I should have lost weight before and kept it off before are still the reasons I need to lose weight today.

Health, self esteem, and energy.  That's why I want to lose the weight.

Before I ever knew what PCOS was, I still knew it was unhealthy to be so overweight but now that I understand PCOS, I really understand how it changes my hormones and how my body functions.  I'm not just a fat girl that gets her period like everyone else every month.  I have periods that don't come, I have ones that come for 2 weeks at a time, stop for a week, then come for 2 weeks again.  I have hair that I have to shave everyday from my stomach and I've lasered hair off my arms (which is amazing by the way, totally do it if you can spend the money!) and yes, it's possible even at a normal weight I could still have those things, but I'll never know until I lose the weight and I'll feel less guilty knowing that I did what I could to lessen those physical problems.  Today, I'm on 1000 mg Metformin and synthroid. 

Since I've been working out and eating better, I already feel more proud of myself than I've felt in years.  I can look in the mirror and see the positive features of my body and not dwell so much on the parts I want to change.  I know that even in a size 14/16 and XL that I can still look nice, where clothes that make me feel good, but that every time I sit down, my muffin top explodes over my pants and it is actually physically uncomfortable to sit.

Since becoming a mom, my mind sort of goes numb around 7pm when the kids go to bed because I'm exhausted.  Or was exhausted.  I was wasting valuable hours each day by just sitting on my couch and doing nothing productive.  Last night when the Biggest Loser was on, I decided I might as well go to the gym and watch it since we have no cable and just rabbit ears which don't pick up NBC for some reason.  So I walked at 3.1mph for 1 hour 52 minutes.  Crazy right?  But it wasn't hard and I wasn't doing it to get a high intensity work out, I just felt I had the energy and it seemed ironic to just keep watching season after season of the BL while sitting on the couch and usually eating dessert.  I need the energy and I want the energy.  I want to look for reasons to be active or productive each day instead of finding reasons to not be which is how I've lived most of my life. 

My goal this year is to lose 65 pounds.  I weighed in at 200.2 lbs on New Year's Day and I joined Roni's Weigh Diet Bet where I have 4 weeks to lose 4% of my weight or I lose my $20 bet.  I weighed in at night so the scale read 202.8 lbs. As of last night, it read 195.8!  Seriously, it used to take me 5-6 months to lose that much. I often lost .2, gained .4, lost .4, lost nothing and on and on.  I decided to cancel my monthly pass to meeting on Weight Watchers.  I thought it would hold me accountable, but it didn't.  When I lost 25 pounds before on WW, it was just online.  I've tracked every day and stick to my 29 points and I only eat probably 10 points of my extra 49 they give you and I don't eat my activity points.  So far, so good.  I'm starting Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred tonight and I'll post before and after pictures.  I'm also doing the couch to 5K (previously I never got past the week that you run a mile finally) and I love it.  It feels good to make this body run and I couldn't care less if the hard bodies at the gym watch my wobbly bits bouncing around as I power through each work out.

I have lots to catch up with you on- to get pregnant or not, marriage, parenting toddlers, downsizing our lifestyle and paying off debt, and so on.  I hope you all are still reading:)