Mommy Time

I can still remember 4 years ago when I was not pregnant and I'd get bored in the evenings or on weekends and I thought that once I had kids I'd do all these fun things with them and my free time would be so filled with quality family time. 

Enter 2 kids 11 months apart, post partum depression, complete lack of sleep and the vision I had in mind was anything but what I was experiencing.  There were a lot of amazing moments, days spent with the kids and I love to look back on everything we've done with our kids. 

But about 5 months after having Dylan, I was craving alone time.  Could I please just go browse Target for an hour without hearing him scream?  Can I please sit down to a hot meal and not have to eat it so fast I could barely taste it and usually I was standing up!  And as someone that struggled with infertility and an adoption that focused on reunification, I felt so much guilt even thinking of leaving them.  I found myself only leaving if they were both asleep and then I just rushed as fast as possible and tried to make it home before they woke up.

I even thought about Stroller Strides and joining some of the mommy groups. But honestly, it's just not for me.  I don't think I can take another question of how long I breastfed Dylan or if I had a natural birth!  Not that that's all they talk about it, but there's things I want to talk about that I don't need my kid right there while I'm handing out snacks and wiping boogers. I would count that as family time and I have friends that love it, but for me it just wasn't appealing.

This year though, I've realized that I'm a social person.  I always have been and for some reason as soon as I got married I gave up more and more opportunities to be in social situations.  My husband is anti-social in 95% of scenarios.  And that's okay.  He'd rather go for a run or go hiking by himself and that brings him happiness.  I've been trying to reconnect with friends and at least once a week be in a social situation without the kids.  I usually have lunch or brunch with one of my girlfriends once a week.  I was also asked by one of the preschool moms if I wanted to join her women's volleyball team that plays Monday nights.  It's a blast!  I played competitively in junior high...so about 17 years ago:)  But I still have some skills and we play no earlier than 6:45pm so I do kiss my kids good bye and tell them I'm going to play volleyball and I've noticed the happier and excited I seem about the more they seem okay with it.  Same thing when I go to the gym in the evenings, maybe twice a week because I missed my mid-day work out, they'll ask why I'm going and I'll tell them because I need to exercise and be healthy and they give me hugs and kisses and then wave at me from the front window. 

I am a better mom because I got a piece of me back.  Each mom has to find what works for them.  Y