Weekly Weigh In: Vacation Gain but Lots of NSV!

I had intended to write down everything I ate and share a food journal with you all when I got back but about 3 days into it, I thought, this is really unnecessary especially because I have no clue what the nutritional value of 90% of this food is!  I don't think I updated my weigh in from last week but I weighed in at 189.4!  Yay for getting into a new decade, the 80's!  However, this morning, with a week a vacation, I weighed in at 190.8 but that's a 1.4 lb gain for the girl who generally gains 10 pounds per week of vacation.  So I'm happy with it and I really did splurge a lot.

I really made sure to eat 6 servings of fresh fruit and veggies and that worked out well but it is NOT CHEAP to do that on vacation, and especially at Disneyland!!  Everyday I ate at least 2 side salads with no cheese, croutons, etc. and dipped my fork in the dressing of my choice.  While at the Grand Californian I ordered a bowl of berries...after tax and tip it was over $9!!  While at my business meetings, I purchased a cup of grapes and a cup of veggies, each were $5!  Yowser.  But I felt I needed to do it because there was so much carbs and fat everywhere I turned, I wanted to make sure I was staying full on healthy items.  I also brought a box of Kashi dark chocolate and coconut granola bars in my suitcase and put 2 in my purse the first day to curb my hunger, they were AWFUL!  The chocolate was gummy and certainly didn't taste like the creamy chocolate I love so that was a bust.

I splurged by going to the Storyteller's Cafe at our hotel to celebrate my nephew's birthday and had the buffet, which I'm not a fan of buffets, but I had salad, fruit, roasted chicken, one chicken nugget and a small piece of salmon and then, 4 mini desserts and a scoop of ice cream!  I know, not on my diet plan but they were so delicious.

Then the following day we went to the Melting Pot!  Seriously, nothing healthy can come from a pot of melted cheese and a pot of chocolate, haha!  I even had a martini that I did not read the ingredient list close enough because when it came I said how it looked like melted ice cream....well it actually had a small scoop of ice cream in it!  Who drinks a ice cream martini with their pot of cheese and bread cubes?  Oh geez, I guess that would be me.  One evening we ate at this italian restaurant people raved about.  It took 1 hour, 15 minutes for our food to arrive.  I was upset and when my dish came, the inside of the manicotti was cold, the sauce was boiling hot so I sent it back and they took it off the bill so I only ate my dinner salad and a bread stick.  But I think it's good that my old self would have just ate it because it was infront of me, not anymore!

We did walk alot but one thing I did learn about exercise versus food consumption is that if you aren't working out hard enough to break a sweat and can eat a churro while walking, the activity does not offset the calories as much as one would think!  The picture on the right is at the Hollywood Tower of Terror, that ride scared me silly for some reason,  you can see me clutching my husbands arm in the first row.  I also grabbed the leg of the random guy next to me on accident when the ride did it's first drop, so embarrassing, he just laughed.  In closing, all I can say is that I allowed myself to indulge, but I did not indulge from breakfast to bed time and I wasn't embarrassed to order meals that were obviously diet like meals and my family was really supportive and didn't make a big fuss out of it.  I missed my boys like crazy and we skyped every night but it was nice to be able to be with my husband every night having fun without organizing babysitters and rushing home every day.  I did have one evening that I got a little ticked off at a situation so I ate way too much for dinner and more than eating all those calories, I realized I for sure am an emotional eater so not to brush off what's wrong when I feel like bingeing.  I need to address through a journal or something and figure out ways to work myself out of it!

Vacation is Over and I THINK I Might Have Survived!

I got back early this morning and am running on about 15 hours of asleep in 3 days so I'm burnt out at the moment but I wanted to say I didn't gain 10 pounds this time, thankfully but I have lots to share (like paying $9 for bowl of berries for breakfast, so not fun!) and that will hopefully come tomorrow!!  

2 Years Ago Today A Mircale Happened!

I became pregnant exactly 2 years ago today.  It still seems surreal.  I don't know exactly why my body decided to cooperate on a break cycle after not giving me any hope for the previous 3 years, but it did and I still am so thankful for that day.

After having a huge cyst on my ovary from my previous month of clomid and a failed cycle, I was told by my doctor that I'd have to take a break in February and I was okay with that.  So when Valentine's Day got closer, my husband and I decided to go skiing and stay at the resort for a night.  I remember after skiing we were riding up the elevator to our room to change for dinner and half way up the ride to our floor, the door opened and a pretty lady stepped on holding her gorgeous blond hair, blue eyed baby.  SHIT!  It's Valentine's day, it's a ski resort, why am I running into this lady and her baby, this is supposed to be a trip where I can forget all of that?  By this time in our journey, it was hard to even see pregnant women or babies even if I didn't even know them.  I'd just think in my head. "Why them?  Why not me?" And I'd usually tear up.  I didn't cry this time but I did think to myself, I wish that was me.  I wish I was hanging out in our hotel room taking care of my sweet baby instead of skiing and I hope that one day I can have that also.

And somehow, that day, it did happen.  I wouldn't know until March 12th, when I was 6 weeks pregnant that in fact I was pregnant and that our baby Dylan would be born 9 months later.  I consider this Dylan's "other birthday" because it truly was when he became a life and what a sweet miracle he is!  So for all you TTC'ers out there, I wish that it is you also someday very soon and that you no longer have to ask why not me.  You all deserve the very best, Happy Valentine's Day.

We went back to the ski resort in early September so I was probably 32 weeks pregnant here.  Boy did I get some stares because my husband was also carrying our, now, oldest son who was only 8 months old at the time!

Weight Watchers Weigh In! Finally reached my 5%!!

And I just barely reached it.  Even though I've got the weight difference between my scale and the WW scale down to a science and it is always .8 lbs off, today, it was WAY off, boo!  I should have lost exactly 1 lb. but their scale said .4 lbs and it kept teetering between 190.2 and 190.4 lbs.  Anyways, the good part is I have hit the 5% mark.  I always feel like for me that is the hardest because I had to change a lot of habits.  I hope to really enjoy the next 10lbs of weight loss because it's going to be different than "I don't eat fast food 4 times a week and drink Starbucks once a day."  It's going to have to be more of, "I pushed myself really hard at the gym.  I drank all my water.  I watched my sodium and sugar intake."  But I'm excited about it.  On my scale I am finally in the 180's!!!  189 to be exact! 

I'm a little nervous about a business/vacation trip I have coming up this month.  After I'm done with business in Southern California, my husband and I will be spending 5 days in Disneyland at the Grand Californian Hotel while my parents watch the boys back home.  I get so nervous about eating on vacation.  As DH pointed out, my life still revolves around food and it's all I think about.  I'm notorious for gaining 10 pounds on a week vacation and lacking motivation when I get back to get back on program.  During the business part of the trip I'll be eating 5 catered meals in a few short days, oh boy.

I'm going to try to eat as much fresh fruit and veggies as possible at Disneyland and drink water and maybe one diet coke a day.  As far as the meals, I just have to watch portion size, make the healthiest choice possible, and pack some healthy snacks to take with me.  I've already looked at every single menu including the room service menu (we love room service!) for Disneyland and I think I can do it.  I also am going to try to get a morning work out in 4 out of the 5 days.  We shall see, wish me luck! 

Products I love that help with my less than perfect skin!

I just wanted to share briefly products that I love that were recommended by my dermatologist.  I've always had acne since puberty and tried all sorts of things.  The past 7 years I've consistently used proactive and my skin looked pretty good but after I had Dylan, my skin was glowing, it was awesome!  Fast forward to when he turned 5 months old, my skin freaked out!  It was so bumpy and rough and just started to get more and more acne.  It was like I was reliving my teen years again.  The doctor said I had borderline rosacea.  She also prescribed Finacea and another topical treatment that is a gentler version of Retin-A that I totally spaced the name.  Here's what my dermatologist recommended for face wash and moisturizer and I now LOVE!  Hope this is helpful especially those that have PCOS and experience acne because of it.

CeraVe Foaming Facial Cleanser. This is for normal to oily skin, they also have one for dry skin.


CeraVe lotion.  This totally calmed my skin down and the dermatologist recommended using it before topical acne medications to reduce the irritation.

I know Target, Costco, and Walgreens carry them. 

PCOS Weight Loss, My Husband's Attempts at Being Supportive:)

Let's begin with this picture below.  We'll call it "Husband helps wife follow Weight Watchers diet by cooking hamburgers that were portioned out to a normal portion.  Husband forgets wife actually NEEDS food to stay alive and that maybe there are better choices for dinner."

When I asked DH what he wanted for dinners this week, the first thing he shouted out was, "Hamburgers!"  I reluctantly said that was fine but please portion my patty out to 3 oz.  so he did and I ended up with about 3 bites of burger that I had to chew very slowly because within about 4 minutes, my hamburger was gone and my stomach still grumbled for more food!!  And you see the "burger" on the plate with nothing else.....well sometimes DH forgets that we may need something to accompany the  main course (I don't even know if I can justify calling that the MAIN course!). 

I was overweight since I was 10.  At 11 years old I weighed 135 lbs, wasn't even 5 ft. tall and wore a size 11 pant.  I was a chubster for sure.  So this weight didn't magically appear after I met and married my husband because I got "comfortable" in the relationship once he "put a ring on it" so I have no place blaming him for my weight. 

But damn, why is it so hard to diet with a man around??!!  My DH is 6'5", 250 lbs and no one would look at him and say he is obese.  He isn't a doctors idea of being at an ideal weight but he does not have the same weight issues I have.  So he can consume a couple bottles of soda a day, rarely eat produce, and eat fast food several times a week and his weight is the same.  There are times when I want to blame him for buying things such as Oreos but I pause for a second, and visualize letting it go.  The other day I visualized releasing a red balloon into the sky.  And right after I did that, I thought, WOW, that was weird!  Why am I releasing a balloon?  I'm not crazy (at least in my opinion) but something has clicked for me to just "let it go" and this time I focus on being responsible for my actions and not dwelling on how my husband is not being supportive (and most of the time he is not aware that it's not supportive and it's not an intentional sabotage of my diet but it's definitely not the ideal support I would like) and somehow I've managed to lose almost 10 lbs.  We've agreed to not bring the junk food into the house and if he really wants the Oreos and it's not planned into our "cheat meal" he has to leave them in his car and not tell me about it. 

I do have to give credit where credit is due and by him taking care of the boys in the morning, I get to go to the gym and if I need to go at night, he never gets upset if I go and he has the boys.  Also, he does help make dinners and does all the grocery shopping.  He also spends Saturday mornings with the boys so I can go to my Weight Watchers meeting.  These are all very helpful things.

We've had a lot of discussions about setting a good example for our kids to live a healthy life.  Every time my mom (who was overweight my entire childhood and had gastric bypass in 2003) tried dieting, she ate completely different food than us. I'm not going to do that. My kids eat what I eat and when they are old enough to help cook, they'll be taught how to cook the healthy meals we like.  Like this morning when the 2 year old was screaming for juice and throwing a fit at the breakfast table, my husband went to give him a glass of it because "Otherwise he's going to just sit here and scream."  I had to point out he is 2, we are the parents, he doesn't get his way all the time and he doesn't get to have juice or milk instead of eating breakfast.  And if you scream and cry at the table, you get a time out, one more chance to come back and eat, and if it continues, another timeout.  I don't want my kids to struggle like I did.  My parents never said no and by the time I was in second grade I was eating an entire steak that I dipped in ranch, baked potato, and a huge bowl of ice cream.  I just can't do that to my kids.

 Here are a few things we've put into place:
1) No drinking soda in front of them unless it's at a restaurant (which happens maybe once a week).
2) We eat our meals at the table including snacks.
3) We all drink water at every meal.
4) No dessert in front of them except for after Sunday dinners with my family but preferably if dessert is going to be eaten, I'd rather wait until they are in bed.
5) Kids can sit at the table before their meal is ready but they are given fruit or veggies cut up to munch on, NOT crackers, cheese, animal crackers, etc. 
6) They have to be served at least one produce item with each meal.  I can't force Dylan to eat, sometimes he flat out refuses, but I keep serving it because sometimes he goes for it and eats it.

Do you have any good tips on incorporating your entire family in your healthy eating plan?  Please share!

One Born Every Minute on Lifetime= AWESOME & HILARIOUS!

Anyone else out there used to watch just about every episode of A Baby Story on TLC?  Well Lifetime has that show beat HANDS DOWN!  One Born Every Minute premiered last Tuesday and even though I  missed getting it recorded....my husband and I snuggled in bed on Friday night and watched it on my laptop.  I know, we are just total party animals on the weekend and live such an interesting life:(  We laughed so hard but also got to share our memories of when Dylan was born.  We laughed through most of my labor and the nurses even said we could come back any time because we were so much fun!  My husband and myself are not interested in watching the actual delivery of babies or seeing what comes out after the baby and we just don't get that "Oh it's so beautiful and natural!" feeling that some people do watching birthing videos.  In fact we skipped the whole Lamaze and birthing classes and just winged it! 

What I love about this show is that the cameras are for the most part installed around the hospital and they don't spend so much time on interviewing the family's story leading up to the birth.  AND...you get a real view of what the nurses think and do and say and I really appreciated that part because I always wondered what some think of the choices that patients make during that time.  Like do they think I'm a wimp for getting an epidural or that I'm crazy for not wanting to hold a mirror to look at my baby's head coming out??

If you want to get a pretty good idea how my labor went and my attitude during that time, I was a lot like the 40  year old lady in the first episode that got an epidural:) 

What I was not like was the couple with the doula and the midwife trying to do everything naturally and took about 5 showers and the husband kept reappearing after that with a towel or sheet wrapped around his bottom half and no pants!  What the heck was that!!  My husband asked every time if I thought they were having sex in the shower because they moaned so loud when they were in there.  It was bananas!  I loved when they were squishing against the ball and moaning, LOL!  My opinion on this couple is that if your insurance or budget would allow for it, why didn't you do a home birth or birthing center? Maybe it was because she was 2 weeks overdue but I feel like if you want that natural birth, why go to a hospital?  When you walk through the doors of the hospital, the hospital is now liable for your care and helping keep you and that baby safe!  So when they want to monitor the baby or tell you that taking a shower is dehydrating you, you need to listen! I thought this couple was so rude to the nurses and in the end they got Pitocin since there rubbing on a ball technique was not working.  And don't forget that so many of those nurses are also moms and many of them did a natural birth so they know what you are going through. 

And my two cents on Doulas (and every time I say that word I follow up with Doula-ob-longata that Adam Sandler says in one of his movies)....the ones I know in real life and the one's I've seen through shows like this, they tend to be people that like seeing babies being born and reliving their own labor and delivery and they only see a handful of births every year yet the L&D nurses see hundreds of births each year....so who do you think has more experience and knowledge to assist you?  That's fine if people want to pay a doula but they are not medical experts and I think this show was a fairly good example of how they are there to make you comfortable but not make important medical decisions.  Here is an example of from the show http://www.mylifetime.com/shows/one-born-every-minute/video/bonus-scenes/episode-1/pam-talks-to-liza .

Oh and the birth plan (watch when the couple that wants a natural birth pulls out their plan, so funny to see the nurses reactions).....even my doctors asked me to make one but I didn't worry too much about it, I allowed my doctor and the nurses to help guide me from hour to hour on how to proceed and it was so much less stressful.   

Anyways, enough babbling, just wanted to say I think the show is worth watching on Tuesdays and even some of the husbands and partners out there may even enjoy watching it too!

Superbowl Food- A little healthier but still yummy!

My go to party food is usually velveeta queso dip, some sort of cheesecake bar, potato skin poppers, and pizza!  But this year I'm attempting to have a little party food and lighten it up a tad.  Here's the menu for today:

Weight Watchers Chipotle Potato Skins (Recipe Here)
Baked Wings (not sure how these will turn out, here's hoping)
Veggie Tray with Light Ranch Dip
Baked Southwestern Egg Rolls from Annie's Eats (Recipe Here)
Chocolate Cupcakes with Oreo Frosting from Annie's Eats (Original Recipe Here)

Before you yell at the computer, "What is she thinking...Oreo Cupcakes!!"  I know, I know.  But i'm seriously lightening up the recipe without losing all the flavor and they do come out to 6 Points Plus per cupcake....but to indulge in Oreos and Chocolate, that is totally doable for me:)  I'll keep track of the changes I make and if they turn out, I'll feature the lightened up recipe here this week! 

And I'm hitting the gym before my family comes over to give me a little cushion in points.  I admit that I'm not a football fan but I can take it for one day a year:)  Are you cooking up something yummy for Superbowl?  Please share!

Down 2lbs!!! What worked and didn't work this week!

So I REALLY wanted to hit my 5% this week which is exactly 10 lbs but I got so darn close this week and ended at 190.6 lbs leaving me with .4 lbs until I reach 5%.  But I'm really excited that this darn body of mine can manage to lose 2 lbs in a week!

I know a lot of folks think Weight Watchers is hokey because for meeting members we all gather once a week with our weight cards in hand, stand in line and weigh in in front of everyone and then attend group therapy (aka the meeting) for 30 minutes.  But for me, I get SOOOO much out of it.  From the accountability to the tips and tricks I hear at the meetings to the support of the leader and not to mention the revamped Points Plus program that has years of scientific research and testing behind it.  For some people, it's not aggressive enough as far as how much you lose each week or that you don't have to eat organic, vegan, gluten free, etc. What I always tell people is that for myself, I believe I will die from the amount of fat on my body before I'll ever die from eating hormone injected beef and carrots grown with the use of pesticides.  That is just my opinion though!  I love that I can eat junk food once in a while during the week if I have the points for it and I don't feel like I've cheated and that my kids can eat everything I'm eating.  And I really believe in slow and steady wins the race like the tortoise and the hare because I've had many friends lose 30-40 pounds (mainly on HCG or extremely low carb diets) in a few short months and then with in a month or 2 they gain it back (which I admittedly can do also) but I think weight watchers is easier to apply to your life for years and years to come.  Unlike the previous times I've done WW, I'm eating very few prepackaged foods or frozen meals and I'm eating more produce than ever before:)

Here's what worked this week:
1) I switched from a sandwich for lunch to a salad with grilled chicken.
2) I worked out 4 times for a total of 3 hours, 15 minutes. I missed Wednesday but did an hour on Friday to make up for it.
3) I tracked everything including my splurge meal.
4) I didn't eat my activity points but did eat 43 out of 49 of my weekly points allowance.
5) The only thing I got that was fast food was twice I got oatmeal from McDonald's.
6) I weighed and measured everything (3 Oz. of chicken is not much and my small sweet potato was 9 oz!)

Here's what didn't work:
1) Putting exercise off until the weekdays.  I need to try to at least do one weekend day.
2) Not exercising until after work or after dinner.   I need to work out at 5am.  Everyone's in bed, and nothing during the day has upset me or sidetracked me which allows me to go to the gym with a great attitude:)
3) Water......I drank my water 3 out of 7 days.  The other days I was 2-3 cups short which I did have coffee but I like the water to be 8 glasses of just water.  I need to drink more the first half of the day.

I really wanted donuts today so I decided instead of just thinking about it all weekend, just to have it and not go overboard.  My oldest has only had 1 donut in his life so I got him a sprinkle donut.  Well within about 10 minutes I had a headache from hell and my 2 year old had 2 bites and said "Done! Done!"  So we threw the rest in the trash and that was the end of that!  And I tracked the points for it, I didn't cheat, and it's time to get to work to lose another pound this week!

AF needs to give me a break!!

I decided to start back on the pill almost a month ago because I thought if anything, maybe it would help level out my hormones and I was not loving the idea of making my husband solely responsible for providing the protection (even though, I could seriously LOL right now because we could probably use nothing and not get pregnant still but no need to risk it!).

I had a 3 pack of Loestrin (sp?) that was prescribed to me back when I was nursing Dylan but I could never remember to take them!  I'm really proud to say I've taken 27 pills on time which is a lifetime best for me..............but I've had my period for 25 days!  I had it for 22 days straight when I started, then it stopped and now I'm on the pills that are just basically sugar pills and it's back, which I guess that's what it's supposed to do but I'm afraid it's not going to stop!  The last time I really gave the pill a go, I was 22 and I had my period for almost 90 straight days while on Yasmin and my old doctor acted like that was NO BIG DEAL!  Finally at the end of 3 months I went in and said that I couldn't take it anymore, this couldn't be normal and she just told me then to stop taking the pill and use condoms.  I had just started dating someone and it was awkward to explain why after 3 months my aunt was still in town! Awesome:(

I have no idea why my body does this.  Have any of you experienced this?  My mom keeps saying I should call my doctor but the truth is, I've been tested, poked, prodded so many times in the last few years, I just want a break.  I really don't want to have anything tested to only hear that something else could be wrong.  I'll give it one more month to straighten out my cycle or else it's going in the trash!!

And with that, I'm peacing out of my office for today and going home to play with my kids and do something fun!  Have a great Friday!!

My full length mirror has been on a 7 year hiatus:(

As soon as I moved in with my husband 7 years ago, I no longer had a full length mirror.  At my parents house I had mirrored closet doors and I just never bothered to buy a full length mirror after that........and it's starting to become obvious that a new one might do me some good! I can't really tell what my outfit of the day looks like below the waste or all together and I have been perfectly fine with that concept especially once I gained weight.  Sometimes I catch a glimpse of my self full length in my office's bathroom mirror that is full length and a shudder thinking, wow, that looks awful!  Or that I had no idea my hips were now THAT WIDE!

I think it was Tim Gunn that said if a piece of clothing does not make you feel beautiful then it should not be in your closet!  Well duh!  But we all hang on to those items of clothing that are ill fitting for some reason.  In the past year I've become more aware of it and purged my closet every know and then.  Until about a year ago, I always thought I shouldn't repeat an outfit for at least 3 or 4 weeks(I went to the rich kids high school, repeating outfits too soon was criminal, uggh) but what I was left with was about 1 week of great looking outfits and well 3 weeks of random crap I threw together that just looked frumpy.  So I decided then that I'd rather have my office mates see me in the same exact thing week after week rather than look crappy 75% of the time.  Because really, aren't we old enough to get over the "Didn't she just wear that last week" cattiness of high school?  What that has translated into is that I'm much more picky about what I buy and I have to really love it to spend money on it and I don't care if it's $5 in Gap's clearance section, I'm not wasting $5 if it doesn't really fit my body well!  So here are some offenders that are in my closet that will have to find a new home this weekend:

1) Large box of maternity clothes.  I already gave away the items I wouldn't wear again but seriously, I'm going to want to do some shopping if I ever get pregnant again and I could be pregnant in a different season.

2) 6 Dresses (2 with tags still on them!)-  I think I'm going to take 4 of them to the dry cleaners and then to the consignment shop because all were pricey and I don't think I'll get much on ebay and currently NONE of them look even remotely good on me.

3) 4 pairs of jeans- I always seem to buy jeans last minute like when I'm going on vacation and so I want a new pair NOW and I don't allow myself enough time to try several pairs on and pick the best ones which results in a lot of awful fitting jeans!

4) An armful of shirts that look okay in the front but my back fat makes them look horrendous and well, you just can't suck in back fat like you can your stomach fat so those bad boys have got to go!

5) And last but not least- bad fitting bras.  I have a ton from Victorias Secret that I haven't worn in maybe 6 years but they are way cuter in the drawer than my granny bras that give me support and full coverage but if they don't look good under my clothes and don't fit well, there is no point in keeping them!

Do you have offenders in your closet??  What do you do with your clothes that you want to get rid of (Ebay, consignment, donation, garage sale)?

What I Bring To Work To Eat To Stay on the Weight Watchers Program

I love when Monique over at Finding the Courage To Change posts pictures of what she ate for the day!  I love it because she eats REAL food, nothing you'd probably turn your nose up to:)  And she eats very close to nature as I would say without a whole lot of processed food which is usually how I eat when I have a successful weight loss week.

So, I'm following her lead and here's a picture of what I brought to work today to stay on my Weight Watchers Program

Early morning snack: 2 "cutie" oranges, usually around 8:30am (0 PP)
Mid morning snack: 1/2 of a cucumber, 1/2 of green pepper, 2 Tb. ranch dip made with light sour cream and hidden valley ranch mix (1 PP), 10:30 am
Lunch: Fresh Express Salad Kit, I'll eat half, then save the other half for tomorrow, (4 PP), 3 oz. chicken breast which are Tysons cooked then frozen strips, I cooked them and diced them this morning (3 PP). 12PM
Mid Afternoon Snack: Pear (look how wonky that thing looks, gotta love winter produce!) (0 PP), 1 string Cheese (2 PP).

We have vending machines and a restaurant downstairs in my office building and the only way I stay away from those fat traps is to bring a grocery bag full of great food to keep me full all day!  And all this is 10 PP:)  I'd count this as 5 servings of fruit and vegetables even though I'm not quite sure how to count 1/2 a cucumber or 1/2 a green pepper.  Cooking Light featured serving sizes on their website in January and they had conflicting information.  Such as 1 pepper is 1 serving, but 1/2 cup of diced pepper is 1 serving and I generally get 1 cup of diced peppers from each pepper.  So I'm counting it as 5 for now!  Also I have to remember to drink water through out the day and we have filtered water and glasses at work so I'm good to go there!

Anyone else want to share a photo of what they eat or list it out?  I love knew suggestions!  Also, over at Baby Weight and Beyond, she shared a 1 PP string cheese that I'm totally adding to the shopping list this weekend!  Have a great day everyone!

Cyber Bullying, Why Are People Doing This?

I didn't even want to devote an entire post to this but this morning I was really thinking about cyber bullying among women just like us......not teenagers that we read about in the media....but GROWN WOMEN.

I've been turned off a bit lately while reading comments or listening to videos on YT or online on other outlets where one person makes a snarky and sometimes a really horrible comment and instead of someone who can erase it, erasing it, you've got a whole lot of women throwing their 2 cents in on the guilty party?

I think they believe they are showing their support of  the "victim" but really, it's childish, just erase the comment and move on.

Everyone at some point has a horrible day and makes a comment they'd like to take back or they truly intend on making the other party feel bad (there are those people that just feel entitled to always give their opinion without regard to how it will make the other person feel, especially in public situations on the internet) but how is it okay to go on and on bullying the person that makes a rude comment?

I at times regret making snarky comments, and then I think to myself, 'Seriously Brandi, did you really think it was okay to make that comment?  Why would you do something that intentionally makes someone feel bad?  You don't have to give your opinion on everything!'  I especially went through a period where I had to learn to just let things roll off my back when Dylan was first born.  Everyone wanted to give me opinions on breastfeeding and not being a stay at home mom, and a part of me wanted to fire back nasty things that would cause them to feel bad.  I may have let something slip now and then but I hope not and I surely didn't try to make comments publicly.

So I'm leaving my email right here, pcosmom29@gmail.com, because if you ever feel like I'm out of line, let's discuss it privately or if you have a comment that you really feel the need to tell me that you know you will get bullied on, let's deal with it there.  But I must say, I've totally enjoyed my blog readers and also reading other peoples blogs, I feel like I've been able to learn a lot more about people through their blogs than YT because not everyone has the time or resources to vlog very much so I'm loving this right now!

I would have done JUST about everything to get pregnant with PCOS...

Except dieting and working out regularly. 

I'll be honest, when I saw a picture of me horseback riding in August of 2008 I told my husband that I needed to stop trying to get pregnant until I lost weight.  I was so disgusted at how big I had gotten and I just didnt' look healthy at all.  The previous summer I was down to about 165-170 in May, by late August I was up to 185 and through the next year I maintained that higher weight.  I told myself, if I could just lose the weight and eat right and work out, I really felt I had a good chance at getting pregnant.  But a few days after seeing the picture on the horse, I somehow let myself think that I would never lose the weight because seriously, I've been overweight since I was 11 years old!  So then I made my first appointment with my first OB/GYN to talk about my infertility and she started putting me on Clomid.   Ultimately after I switched doctors, and was on a break cycle, I think the Metformin is what allowed me to get pregnant.  And yes, I got pregnant but I whole heartedly believe that if I would have lost the weight, I could have got pregnant  a lot sooner like "normal" girls do and still with maybe just taking Metformin.  I didn't have blocked tubes, unhealthy eggs or anything else really besides that I didn't ovulate.   But when I felt all those drugs in my system (13 pills a day when I was pregnant), Clomid, injection to release my eggs, metformin, dexamethasone, and synthroid,  I felt like crap.  I was sick, bitchy, and felt like a fricken science experiment.

But why couldn't I commit to losing the weight if I wanted a baby THAT BAD.  I'm still not sure what the answer is.  I get that it's really hard with PCOS to lose weight, but it is doable.  I'm trying to do it now and it's working and my life is much more hectic than it was 3 years ago.  And who cares if I ONLY lose 1 pound a week? In a year that is 52 pounds! 

Do you feel the same way if you are obese?  That if someone told you, if you lose weight and maintain a healthy BMI and then possibly take Metformin (maybe even that won't be necessary) you'll get pregnant, would you commit to losing the weight? 

I pose this question not to those that have infertility problems that have to do with sperm counts, morphology, blocked tubes or some other issue that even at a healthy BMI could not be fixed but I sort of wonder how many of us took the drugs, went through the emotional roller coaster, and drained savings accounts to try to get pregnant instead of losing a significant amount of weight FIRST?  I'm raising my hand now, I'm calling myself out, 100% guilty right here.

(Edited 2/2/2010) Please go visit Annie's Blog to see how she managed to hit the nail on the head when answering why we don't just lose the weight!