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Tuesday, February 1, 2011

I would have done JUST about everything to get pregnant with PCOS...

Except dieting and working out regularly. 

I'll be honest, when I saw a picture of me horseback riding in August of 2008 I told my husband that I needed to stop trying to get pregnant until I lost weight.  I was so disgusted at how big I had gotten and I just didnt' look healthy at all.  The previous summer I was down to about 165-170 in May, by late August I was up to 185 and through the next year I maintained that higher weight.  I told myself, if I could just lose the weight and eat right and work out, I really felt I had a good chance at getting pregnant.  But a few days after seeing the picture on the horse, I somehow let myself think that I would never lose the weight because seriously, I've been overweight since I was 11 years old!  So then I made my first appointment with my first OB/GYN to talk about my infertility and she started putting me on Clomid.   Ultimately after I switched doctors, and was on a break cycle, I think the Metformin is what allowed me to get pregnant.  And yes, I got pregnant but I whole heartedly believe that if I would have lost the weight, I could have got pregnant  a lot sooner like "normal" girls do and still with maybe just taking Metformin.  I didn't have blocked tubes, unhealthy eggs or anything else really besides that I didn't ovulate.   But when I felt all those drugs in my system (13 pills a day when I was pregnant), Clomid, injection to release my eggs, metformin, dexamethasone, and synthroid,  I felt like crap.  I was sick, bitchy, and felt like a fricken science experiment.

But why couldn't I commit to losing the weight if I wanted a baby THAT BAD.  I'm still not sure what the answer is.  I get that it's really hard with PCOS to lose weight, but it is doable.  I'm trying to do it now and it's working and my life is much more hectic than it was 3 years ago.  And who cares if I ONLY lose 1 pound a week? In a year that is 52 pounds! 

Do you feel the same way if you are obese?  That if someone told you, if you lose weight and maintain a healthy BMI and then possibly take Metformin (maybe even that won't be necessary) you'll get pregnant, would you commit to losing the weight? 

I pose this question not to those that have infertility problems that have to do with sperm counts, morphology, blocked tubes or some other issue that even at a healthy BMI could not be fixed but I sort of wonder how many of us took the drugs, went through the emotional roller coaster, and drained savings accounts to try to get pregnant instead of losing a significant amount of weight FIRST?  I'm raising my hand now, I'm calling myself out, 100% guilty right here.

(Edited 2/2/2010) Please go visit Annie's Blog to see how she managed to hit the nail on the head when answering why we don't just lose the weight!


  1. Wow, Brandi! You have just managed to type everything I have been thinking about over the last few days. I am about to start a round of Clomid & Metformin and have been asking myself the question about my weight for the last few months now. I have tried weight watchers and given up, I am sick of losing a pound one week then gaining it back the next week. Its very disheartening!But I know I could try harder than I have already to shift some pounds! As you said, do I want to pump myself full of drugs when I could just loose some weight and then maybe, just hopefully get pregnant like all those normal girls out there.... Some serious soul searching to be done, its brought home especially when a close friend told me she was pregnant a few days ago, she wasn't expecting it, but it did make me cry that there are woman all around me who seem to fall pregnant so easily while i struggle with PCOS! You can't help but ask yourself what more you should be doing!!!

    Love reading your blog, its really encouraging!!


  2. I feel the same way. We want to start trying again at the beginning of next year. (Or adopt again) We don't know if we will do FET or not. I know if I lose weight I will have a successful pregnancy. I need to drop about 40 lbs, at least. (That would put me around 150) You would think this would be motivation, but I can't seem to get started. I am on WW but I just go up and down.
    I have PCOS and I know that weight loss is best for getting pregnant. I just need to get motivated!

  3. Brandi you are so right! If we want a baby so bad why can't we get it together and lose the weight?!? But I have been trying to conceive for three years and on my second cycle of clomid with metformin added this time around. I need to lose 80 pounds to be healthy, I also have PCOS, but I start a diet and never finish it I feel like crap with myself. Cuz if I really want this baby so bad but why can I get my shit together and lose the weight! So! yeah I totally agree and call myself out as well !

  4. Oh phew! I thought, OMG, I'm so going to get blasted for this post:( I even thought about going to therapy the first time I talked to a doctor about infertility to get to the bottom of why I'm fat hoping that I could find my big, life defining moment where I knew why it was important to lose weight and then finally started losing weight for good. I think too that so much of infertility feels unfair and you see women that are much heavier than us popping out babies left and right and so you think why not me? But I'm going to just try to focus on each 5 pounds and watch them melt off my body!

  5. I feel the same way just not sure how to get the weight off. I do good for a while but then other things become a priority. I know that I would not have the problems I do if I lost the weight.

  6. I feel like you and i are the same person in 2 bodies sometimes haha. My only problem right now is PCOS and not ovulating and I ask myself this question all the time. im glad im not the only one to struggle with this. I think when it comes to weight loss you really have to be committed to the idea of doing so and you would think that having a baby would will power you need but somehow i still dont feel like im really committed to the idea of losing weight.

  7. Thanks for posting this! My counselor and I were just discussing this several weeks ago. Instead of replying in the comment section- I am feelin' a blog post comming on! So, give me a few hours and check back :)

  8. @Jo, I have bursts of commitments but I'm trying to wrap my head around the idea that even if I diet and exercise for a year and hit my goal....that's just the beginning, I'm going to have to eat healthy and exercise the rest of my life and that feeling is overwhelming:( Especially when I can literally gaine 10 lbs on vacation in a week and it takes me 2-3 months to lose that amount? Something doesn't add up. Hopefully we can both figure this out and be supportive of one another:)

    @Annie, You got it, I'll check your blog later!

  9. Haha this post is really interesting to me it's exactly where I'm at. I found out I had pcos on Dec 23rd 2010, my doctor said because I'm so young he wants me to try and loose weight until March 23 2011 and then maybe try clomid if I lost weight (I'm 215 pounds, 5'4) I've already been trying for over a year why should I have to wait even longer is what I was thinking. So I started eating better and going to the gym for probably the first 2 months andi felt like I was loosing abit but not much I did not want to track my weight. Anyways this last month I haven't done a thing no gym, eating not as good anddddmy fertility appointment is in like a week and a half. Imnot even sure what the heck to do now, I was thinking of trying vitex and primrose and other vitamins and start off at the bottom and go from there. Who knows it's been way to long of trying and I'm just at the point where I'm like whatever!

  10. MissLilyPad13- Yep, I totally get it. Plus it's really hard to focus on weight loss when you probably think about getting pregnant and being a mom 24/7. It's hard to focus on the weight and put pregnancy aside. Obviously, as I said, I did not do that. This time I am even though I'd love to be pregnant right now! But also, I have 2 kids so maybe it's easier this time. I am convinced that the majority of women with PCOS that are overweight can overcome most of the fertility issues once they reach a healthy BMI but it's amazingly hard to lose weight with PCOS. Possible, but hard. Best of luck! Maybe make a small goal like 10-15lbs?

  11. Okay this is the second time Im writting this stupid computer! Lol

    I'm hoping after watching yours and everyone else pcos stories and blogs I'm hoping it'll get me out of this 'funk' reality is I just found out in December so I haven't really took any serious measures on TTC, realiaticly I'd love to come up with a goal weight, while taking some vitamins and see what happens from there. I do know my body responds really well to medication so I'm hoping I won't have to go through anything dirastic (spell check?)
    Anyways I just want to thank you for all your videos I've almost watched every single one of them in the duration of 3 days! Haha and now I'm working on your blogs. And I can't wait to see more :)