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Monday, February 14, 2011

2 Years Ago Today A Mircale Happened!

I became pregnant exactly 2 years ago today.  It still seems surreal.  I don't know exactly why my body decided to cooperate on a break cycle after not giving me any hope for the previous 3 years, but it did and I still am so thankful for that day.

After having a huge cyst on my ovary from my previous month of clomid and a failed cycle, I was told by my doctor that I'd have to take a break in February and I was okay with that.  So when Valentine's Day got closer, my husband and I decided to go skiing and stay at the resort for a night.  I remember after skiing we were riding up the elevator to our room to change for dinner and half way up the ride to our floor, the door opened and a pretty lady stepped on holding her gorgeous blond hair, blue eyed baby.  SHIT!  It's Valentine's day, it's a ski resort, why am I running into this lady and her baby, this is supposed to be a trip where I can forget all of that?  By this time in our journey, it was hard to even see pregnant women or babies even if I didn't even know them.  I'd just think in my head. "Why them?  Why not me?" And I'd usually tear up.  I didn't cry this time but I did think to myself, I wish that was me.  I wish I was hanging out in our hotel room taking care of my sweet baby instead of skiing and I hope that one day I can have that also.

And somehow, that day, it did happen.  I wouldn't know until March 12th, when I was 6 weeks pregnant that in fact I was pregnant and that our baby Dylan would be born 9 months later.  I consider this Dylan's "other birthday" because it truly was when he became a life and what a sweet miracle he is!  So for all you TTC'ers out there, I wish that it is you also someday very soon and that you no longer have to ask why not me.  You all deserve the very best, Happy Valentine's Day.

We went back to the ski resort in early September so I was probably 32 weeks pregnant here.  Boy did I get some stares because my husband was also carrying our, now, oldest son who was only 8 months old at the time!


  1. Awww, so sweet. We are both lucky to have our beautiful babies!! It wasn't easy for us either. But we are truly blessed

  2. I'm so glad I'm not the only one that at one point can't even see a pregnant woman or a baby without feeling sad and tearing up! I'm so glad you got your bundles of joy and you deserve them. I have hope that one day I'll be able to have my own as well. It's hard cycle after cycle hoping and wishing that it gets here but I have hope. Thank you for sharing it gives me hope! Thank you!
    You have truly received the best valentines ever!

    Nory :)

  3. So friekin' awesome!! Pardon my french! Many smiles!!

  4. @Susie, we are lucky and I never forget that!
    @Nory- It's hard not to tear up but I'm confident you'll have your baby someday soon! Don't lose hope...EVER!
    @Vicky, I smiled a lot today, 2 years ago was obviously the day that changed our lives for the best and it's been wonderful and crazy ever since:)

  5. It's amazing how just when you think your body doesn't get it... it does :) Happy Valentine's Day!

  6. I just wanted to find somewhere to tell you what a difference you've made in my life. I started watching your videos on youtube when I was diagnosed with PCOS and TTC over 2 years ago. They were amazing and were my best friends sometimes late into the night when I couldn't figure out where my place was in this world. I had several miscarriages and looked into fostering and 'public' adoption based on your recommendations. Your warm smile and strong spirit were a comfort and guide to me at times when I had none.
    Eventually, I realized that I was not truly happy and was not in a healthy relationship. I went through the hardest part of my life, getting divorced and being homeless. I eventually healed and got back to life, but figured my chance to have babies was given up when I divorced. I'm 28 for gosh sake's. :)
    Then I met a wonderful man who rebuilt every dream I thought I had given up in order to find true happiness. I had lost LOTS of weight, and become pregnant the VERY FIRST TIME we TTC. I am 9 weeks and still in shock. Life really does have it's own plan, something I think many PCOS sufferers forget when we try so hard to 'do' everything. Your determination and willingness to share your story really gave me hope, as I imagine it has to many others. I understand why you took the videos off (no where in AK is THAT big!), and I am truly happy for you and your beautiful family. ❥