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Wednesday, February 9, 2011

PCOS Weight Loss, My Husband's Attempts at Being Supportive:)

Let's begin with this picture below.  We'll call it "Husband helps wife follow Weight Watchers diet by cooking hamburgers that were portioned out to a normal portion.  Husband forgets wife actually NEEDS food to stay alive and that maybe there are better choices for dinner."

When I asked DH what he wanted for dinners this week, the first thing he shouted out was, "Hamburgers!"  I reluctantly said that was fine but please portion my patty out to 3 oz.  so he did and I ended up with about 3 bites of burger that I had to chew very slowly because within about 4 minutes, my hamburger was gone and my stomach still grumbled for more food!!  And you see the "burger" on the plate with nothing else.....well sometimes DH forgets that we may need something to accompany the  main course (I don't even know if I can justify calling that the MAIN course!). 

I was overweight since I was 10.  At 11 years old I weighed 135 lbs, wasn't even 5 ft. tall and wore a size 11 pant.  I was a chubster for sure.  So this weight didn't magically appear after I met and married my husband because I got "comfortable" in the relationship once he "put a ring on it" so I have no place blaming him for my weight. 

But damn, why is it so hard to diet with a man around??!!  My DH is 6'5", 250 lbs and no one would look at him and say he is obese.  He isn't a doctors idea of being at an ideal weight but he does not have the same weight issues I have.  So he can consume a couple bottles of soda a day, rarely eat produce, and eat fast food several times a week and his weight is the same.  There are times when I want to blame him for buying things such as Oreos but I pause for a second, and visualize letting it go.  The other day I visualized releasing a red balloon into the sky.  And right after I did that, I thought, WOW, that was weird!  Why am I releasing a balloon?  I'm not crazy (at least in my opinion) but something has clicked for me to just "let it go" and this time I focus on being responsible for my actions and not dwelling on how my husband is not being supportive (and most of the time he is not aware that it's not supportive and it's not an intentional sabotage of my diet but it's definitely not the ideal support I would like) and somehow I've managed to lose almost 10 lbs.  We've agreed to not bring the junk food into the house and if he really wants the Oreos and it's not planned into our "cheat meal" he has to leave them in his car and not tell me about it. 

I do have to give credit where credit is due and by him taking care of the boys in the morning, I get to go to the gym and if I need to go at night, he never gets upset if I go and he has the boys.  Also, he does help make dinners and does all the grocery shopping.  He also spends Saturday mornings with the boys so I can go to my Weight Watchers meeting.  These are all very helpful things.

We've had a lot of discussions about setting a good example for our kids to live a healthy life.  Every time my mom (who was overweight my entire childhood and had gastric bypass in 2003) tried dieting, she ate completely different food than us. I'm not going to do that. My kids eat what I eat and when they are old enough to help cook, they'll be taught how to cook the healthy meals we like.  Like this morning when the 2 year old was screaming for juice and throwing a fit at the breakfast table, my husband went to give him a glass of it because "Otherwise he's going to just sit here and scream."  I had to point out he is 2, we are the parents, he doesn't get his way all the time and he doesn't get to have juice or milk instead of eating breakfast.  And if you scream and cry at the table, you get a time out, one more chance to come back and eat, and if it continues, another timeout.  I don't want my kids to struggle like I did.  My parents never said no and by the time I was in second grade I was eating an entire steak that I dipped in ranch, baked potato, and a huge bowl of ice cream.  I just can't do that to my kids.

 Here are a few things we've put into place:
1) No drinking soda in front of them unless it's at a restaurant (which happens maybe once a week).
2) We eat our meals at the table including snacks.
3) We all drink water at every meal.
4) No dessert in front of them except for after Sunday dinners with my family but preferably if dessert is going to be eaten, I'd rather wait until they are in bed.
5) Kids can sit at the table before their meal is ready but they are given fruit or veggies cut up to munch on, NOT crackers, cheese, animal crackers, etc. 
6) They have to be served at least one produce item with each meal.  I can't force Dylan to eat, sometimes he flat out refuses, but I keep serving it because sometimes he goes for it and eats it.

Do you have any good tips on incorporating your entire family in your healthy eating plan?  Please share!


  1. I think these are great guidlines for your children and family. I may incorporate the same thing when Levi gets older.
    It was so sad...I was in Sam's yesterday and as I was walking past the snack bar there was a lady there with her daughter. (Both were overweight). I heard her tell the cashier that her daughter wanted 2 hotdogs and a large icee. Now the hot dogs at Sam's are huge! I wanted to scream. The little girl was so excited that she was going to be eating 2 large hot dogs. It was so sad. It really had me thinking more about food choices and what my son sees when he looks at me eating.
    I like your guidlines because you are making them as a family. I know they will be successful.
    BTW, I laughed out loud when I saw that hamburger...too funny!
    Oh, and I did go to my WW meeting yesterday. I had a great day today...I am going to do this! Thanks for the inspiration!

  2. That's awesome you went to your meeting!

    It's hard for me to see that sort of thing where parents are clearly making poor choices for their kids. And it's tough right now with Dylan not having much of an appetite most days and spitting out a lot of his foods but my husband can go days with not eating any produce and he understood how important it was finally to change the boys' diet and eat better when Dylan was so constipated he screamed bloody murder and I asked what he ate for the last 2 days (I was on a girls trip in Oregon) and he told me what he fed the kids...no produce or whole grains. I was in total disbelief. I think he thought he was being the fun dad that took them to Ihop and taco bell and McDonald's. That was definitely a turning point for us.

    It will be fun to hear your ideas as Levi gets older and eats the same foods as you. Have you heard of weelicious.com? It's a pretty good site for kid friendly food:)