Adopting through FC: How to start the process

I'm going to abbreviate F0$+er C@re for now because I really don't want someone googling this topic and finding it until we are done with our adoption because you never know who's reading!  Once we are finalized, I'll go back and edit, so bear with me for now please!

Make the Call-  Please visit this website http://www.adoptuskids.org/resourceCenter/rrtPackets/chooseState.aspx and click on your state and you should find a number to call your FC system.  Our state has a lot of information on their page (I'm very impressed!) and what we did was call and ask if there was an orientation we could sign up for and there was and we did.  It was about an hour long, there was about 6 families at ours and it went through the basics of how children come into the FC system, what resources are available and what's involved in the approval process to do FC and adoption.  In our state, you have to be approved to be a FC home before you can do adoption because it's not like this all happens in one day, so technically you are fostering a child until the adoption is finalized. 

Fill out the paperwork-  We received a large packet of papers at orientation to be filled out and faxed or mailed back to our state office.  Don't be super worried about any of that, unless anyone in your household has been convicted of violent crimes, crimes against kids, etc.  We filled out the packet of paperwork and then they assigned a licensing worker to us.  Also at this time, make sure whether you need to be getting finger printed or any other steps.  Again, none of this costs us any money at this point.

Home Study- The FC home study is a little different that the adoption home study.  Prior to the licensing workers arrival, we received a copy of the rules of FC and a sheet of "Saftey Requirements."  The safety stuff had to be completed prior to her arrival and it doesn't mean child proof your entire house.  It does involve (for our state), installing extinguishers, working smoke detectors, making sure the water temperature isn't too hot, storing chemicals in a place where kids can't get to or putting a child proof latch on your cabinet, and making a box in case of a natural disaster (radio that works on batteries, a first aid kit, a couple gallons of drinking water and non perishables which can be soup and granola bars, my ex-military husband bought a ton of MRE's, yuck!).  So this step may cost you a little bit of money but you should be able to keep it under $100.  Then the licensing worker came, went over all the rules, then checked that we met the safety requirements.  At this time, depending on your state, you should be able to show the licensing worker where the child would sleep or if necessary, have the room set up.  The licensing worker will talk to you about what your preference for children is and please speak openly and honestly with her because when she goes back to her office and talks with the placement worker, you want to make sure she conveys your wishes (even though they are written on paper) clearly!

Room Set Up-  By this time in the process for us (the first visit from the licensing worker), we thought we would not get pregnant, it was late January, or early February but we decided to create a neutral bedroom that could be easily changed depending on gender.  Now this is where you spend what you want and can afford.  We bought a crib, painted the walls and did a little decorating (I think you can go back to one of my YT videos in February and it's on there) and set it up with a dresser and a twin bed.  You obviously can do this on the cheap if you go on craigslist or know someone with a crib.  But you do need this stuff.  They will not give you a baby on the premise that you'll rush around the day off and get a bed for the kid!  This part can be emotionally a really awesome feeling, or really hard.  I was excited to do it personally. I felt like I was moving forward to becoming a mom and FINALLY I could go baby shopping for myself and not for another damn baby shower! HA!  Also, I'm going to assume most people reading this are thinking of adopting an infant so I'll just use that example.  You will need to get just a few toys (they can be used, whatever you want) and some basic clothes.  The licensing worker needs to see that the baby will be clothed!  We went to once upon a child and I picked as much gender neutral options as possible and very basic onesies, pants, socks, pajamas and I bought about 2 outfits and a pair of pajamas in each size up to a year (because at least the next day you can go shopping after the baby arrives, but the first day, don't count on taking a baby for a couple hours shopping!)  You DON'T have to buy diapers, formula, bottles, etc. (at least where I live).

Training and Classes- Our state requires 20 hours of classes and we did them over a Friday night and all day Saturday.  Both parents had to attend and it was AWESOME!  I can't even explain what it was like to be in a room of about 12 couples that were all super excited to become foster parents (a few already were because of emergency placements so it was nice to hear their experiences too).  I can't tell you how many tears were shed during these classes.  Most of the men included.  Obviously classes are different across the country so I really hope you enjoy your classes and have a great teacher like we did!  About 8 of us went out to lunch each day together and had a blast and on Saturday night 6 of us went and hung out together at one of their homes, it was crazy that we just all had this instant bonding and we are all still great friends:)  So definitely try and meet other couples at your classes so that you start creating a support system.

Second Home study- So now the licensing worker came back, did her final approval, looked at the bedroom and it was short and sweet and she left saying, "Expect a call from us any day with news that we have a child for you!"  We were stoked, I randomly took a pregnancy test as soon as she left and BAM, I was pregnant.  I talk about that in my YT video, that was a crazy day!

Next I'll do a post of questions to ask and some things that might be helpful to you!