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Saturday, January 8, 2011

Lunch with my girlfriends:(

Every few months about 4 or 5 of us go to lunch together to catch up with each other and I had just wrote earlier in my post "Overwhelmed" about how the people I was surrounded with often love when I asked them questions about their lives and at the end of a conversation I realize that they never even really asked me about myself.  After re-reading the post a few days ago, I thought maybe I was just being Negative Nancy and the situation really isn't that bad.

***On a side note, my best friend that has twins called on New Years eve and we talked for 2 straight hours and I can honestly say that the questions went 2 ways and I don't think either one of us was doing all the asking while the other talked about themselves the entire time.  So yay for friends that are awesome!

I had a great time at lunch, we all chatted for about an hour, had good food, and then went back to work.  I was feeling pretty good about the situation and even for a moment thought how lucky I was to have close girlfriends that after 15-25 years we are all still really connected and close.  But then it hit me...

A) No one even asked me how work was going yet I can tell you almost verbatim how their jobs are going.
B) No one asked about Dylan or Monkey (one of the girls brought her 9 month old and I made sure to ask her things because ALL MOMS like talking about their kids!).
c) No one asked about my husband and how work was going.

So what in the heck did we talk about?  No really?  Not me that's for sure! Did they also drive away thinking they were glad that I'm doing so well and that work is going great and that my boys are happy and healthy and that Chad is doing awesome with his new company?  Well the answer to the last question is no, they couldn't have because they didn't even fricken ask.  I don't get it. 

I guess why I post about this is to help you make sure that you are being the friend that every person desires, the one who can listen, not interrupt all the time, that can ask questions that show that you care what is going on in their life and that you don't always control the majority of the conversation.  My mom is a notorious interrupter.  I love her to death, but she is the one who interrupts and does not let anyone finish a sentence.  And my family has made her aware of it because it just got to the point of being so rude and I can even raise my hand and say I have definitely been guilty of it from time to time and if I do catch myself, I stop and say "I'm really sorry I interrupted, please go ahead." 

I really want to stop dwelling on it but it's really hard to not be asked for weeks how I'm doing, how are my kids doing, and how work is going just really gets to me.

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